Last Saturday, as a few friends/neighbors of mine were walking passed a gas station and noticed that gas was under $2 a gallon, one neighbor said that because gas prices were going down, it was a better idea to NOT fill your tank all the way. Very simple logic would tell you that she was correct. If gas prices are going down, buying gas tomorrow is cheaper than buying it today, so why fill up all the way? Unfortunately, gas is not the only economic factor, and it surprises me how little value people put on their time.
Quickly estimate the amount of time it takes you to get gas. I put it at around 10-15 minutes, though it may be longer or shorter depending on your proximity to a fueling station. Now let us assume that instead of purchasing a full tank of gas (15 gallons for most sedans, if you drive a truck, read something else) every two weeks, you are purchasing a half-tank every week. That is an extra ten minutes every two weeks. At best you might see gas prices drop 10 cents per week, leaving you with a bi-weekly savings of 75 cents.
Now calculate the value of your time. This is much simpler than most people imagine. Instead of doing what you are doing, pretend you are at work. How much money would you be making? If your answer is greater than $7.50 per hour, then you are simply on the losing side of this math problem. Don't be simple minded, learn math, it's FUNdamental.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Scalars in the Shadows
I was making my way home last week after a long 10-hour shift at work. As I walked towards my front door from the sketchy place on the street where I park my car I heard a strange shrieking sound from the bushes. I stared blankly at the bushes for about eight seconds before noticing a very lanky and shadowy figure looking up at me, and apparently in fits of laughter. I backed away cautiously, but the figure soon collected himself for a long enough time to notice my stare. "You scared the shit out of me," I semi-yelled at the figure.
As he stepped out of the bushes, I could again see his giant grin, "I did not mean to startle you, but when I saw you, of all people, walking down my humble street, I could not contain my laughter".
"What about me, personally, do you find so funny?" I asked rather harshly.
"It is your blatant disregard to all that I stand for that I find very humorous".
"Should I know you?" I asked, more agitated that the first time.
"You better than most, they call me Distance," he replied in a stately fashion.
"Distance? Like the measurement?" I was in a state of confusion I rarely see at this point.
"The very same. You see, I have known about you for some time, and I, normally, have a lot of respect for a person like yourself. You understand your mathematics, and seem to have a general respect for that which I stand".
"Normally?" I, at this point, had probably asked more questions that in the previous decade.
"Yes, I have been having a laugh at your expense for the past couple weeks, you seem to have forgotten yourself. You seem to be living under the impression that you can succeed in spite of me, and, well, to put it bluntly, I plan to make an example of you and your girl."
I finally understand who and what he is. Two weeks ago, the Squeeze and I decided to try and make things work from opposite sides of the country, as Distance would tell you, 2,102 miles to be exact. We both understand the difficulty of our endeavor, and it really adds insult when I am confronted by friend, family, or in this case, a term of measurement, telling me that I cannot make it work. I now had to prove to Distance that he was not insurmountable. I began by digging through the mess of my bedroom and grabbing my old middle-school telescope and heading to the roof. A telescope that could show me stars from the deep regions of space could surely show Distance that my Squeeze was always within my reach. As I stood on my roof that afternoon, with the sun at my back, I heard the same high cackle coming from below. As I attempted to ignore him, I realized the reason for his laughter. The mountains to the East were dropping below the horizon before I was halfway to my Squeeze. Let down set into my brain, perhaps Distance was right, perhaps I had finally found the weakness in my endeavor. I walked back into my house, dejected, and opened up my closet to put away the telescope. As I opened the closet I saw something in the corner that renewed my hope.
Quickly I ran outside, a grin on my face three times the size with which Distance had first approached me.
"Why are you so happy, your endeavors are futile, I cannot be overcome".
"I'd like you to come meet someone, are you up to it?" I replied to the smug scalar.
"I bet it isn't your Squeeze," he taunted.
I ignored his last response and led him through the mess of my apartment to the lone closet. "I believe the two of you are already acquainted, Distance, this is Time," Time waved feebly from under a winter coat. Distance looked at his old companion with a look of shock. Obviously speechless, I decided to interject.
"Your friend used to be a lot bigger and stronger, in fact, he used to look a lot like you," I explained, "But you see, like you, Time is finite. He once came to me and challenged me as you are, showing me how long it would be until I, again, was with my Squeeze. But every second that passes, he grows smaller, and weaker, because every second is that much closer to the next time I get to see my Squeeze."
"But time has no effect on me," Distance defended.
"Of course it does not, you are lucky to be an independent variable, but you fall under a different set of rules. If I do this," I took a step to the East, "You become smaller. Perhaps not noticeably so, but you and I both know it to be true. So, as you may not slowly shrink nothing, like your friend Time, you too know that the day will soon come when you will shrink to nothing. In fact, you may want to stay in consolation of you shrinking friend, Time, as I have a feeling you will both disappear together."
With this I took great satisfaction in shutting the door to my closet, sealing both of my former enemies inside, waiting for the day when they would both be gone for good.
As he stepped out of the bushes, I could again see his giant grin, "I did not mean to startle you, but when I saw you, of all people, walking down my humble street, I could not contain my laughter".
"What about me, personally, do you find so funny?" I asked rather harshly.
"It is your blatant disregard to all that I stand for that I find very humorous".
"Should I know you?" I asked, more agitated that the first time.
"You better than most, they call me Distance," he replied in a stately fashion.
"Distance? Like the measurement?" I was in a state of confusion I rarely see at this point.
"The very same. You see, I have known about you for some time, and I, normally, have a lot of respect for a person like yourself. You understand your mathematics, and seem to have a general respect for that which I stand".
"Normally?" I, at this point, had probably asked more questions that in the previous decade.
"Yes, I have been having a laugh at your expense for the past couple weeks, you seem to have forgotten yourself. You seem to be living under the impression that you can succeed in spite of me, and, well, to put it bluntly, I plan to make an example of you and your girl."
I finally understand who and what he is. Two weeks ago, the Squeeze and I decided to try and make things work from opposite sides of the country, as Distance would tell you, 2,102 miles to be exact. We both understand the difficulty of our endeavor, and it really adds insult when I am confronted by friend, family, or in this case, a term of measurement, telling me that I cannot make it work. I now had to prove to Distance that he was not insurmountable. I began by digging through the mess of my bedroom and grabbing my old middle-school telescope and heading to the roof. A telescope that could show me stars from the deep regions of space could surely show Distance that my Squeeze was always within my reach. As I stood on my roof that afternoon, with the sun at my back, I heard the same high cackle coming from below. As I attempted to ignore him, I realized the reason for his laughter. The mountains to the East were dropping below the horizon before I was halfway to my Squeeze. Let down set into my brain, perhaps Distance was right, perhaps I had finally found the weakness in my endeavor. I walked back into my house, dejected, and opened up my closet to put away the telescope. As I opened the closet I saw something in the corner that renewed my hope.
Quickly I ran outside, a grin on my face three times the size with which Distance had first approached me.
"Why are you so happy, your endeavors are futile, I cannot be overcome".
"I'd like you to come meet someone, are you up to it?" I replied to the smug scalar.
"I bet it isn't your Squeeze," he taunted.
I ignored his last response and led him through the mess of my apartment to the lone closet. "I believe the two of you are already acquainted, Distance, this is Time," Time waved feebly from under a winter coat. Distance looked at his old companion with a look of shock. Obviously speechless, I decided to interject.
"Your friend used to be a lot bigger and stronger, in fact, he used to look a lot like you," I explained, "But you see, like you, Time is finite. He once came to me and challenged me as you are, showing me how long it would be until I, again, was with my Squeeze. But every second that passes, he grows smaller, and weaker, because every second is that much closer to the next time I get to see my Squeeze."
"But time has no effect on me," Distance defended.
"Of course it does not, you are lucky to be an independent variable, but you fall under a different set of rules. If I do this," I took a step to the East, "You become smaller. Perhaps not noticeably so, but you and I both know it to be true. So, as you may not slowly shrink nothing, like your friend Time, you too know that the day will soon come when you will shrink to nothing. In fact, you may want to stay in consolation of you shrinking friend, Time, as I have a feeling you will both disappear together."
With this I took great satisfaction in shutting the door to my closet, sealing both of my former enemies inside, waiting for the day when they would both be gone for good.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Sorry Kids, Christmas has been Cancelled
I want to take this opportunity to personally apologize to my two children, Ethan and Patricia, you will not be receiving Christmas gifts this year. First, Ethan, your mom went to Target last week to pick up an X-Box 360 for you, she even managed to find a couple games your would like, but for the life of me I cannot keep up with the names. Patricia, perhaps we can get you a Hannah Montana Malibu Beach house some other time. I know you are disappointed in your mother and I, and I do not blame you, but please allow me to explain what has happened to your gifts.
I was forced to get up very early this morning and drive to the inner city, where your gifts were redistributed to children whose parents are unemployed and perhaps strung out on drugs. Ethan, your X-Box was given to a boy name Steven, whom I am afraid will never appreciate it as much as you, as he was born addicted to heroine and only has half of a brain. Patricia, a young girl named Maria will be playing with your Hannah Montana Dollhouse, and I received word that she has already started making small batches of meth in the tiny kitchen.
You see, under our new socialist government system, everyone is equal. So even though mommy and daddy work 50 hours a week to provide for our family, we must give away that money to the families that do not work. Now it may not seem fair that they get toys and you do not, but that is how they have decided to spend the money we were made to give them. Your mother and I decided it would be better to give you a nice house in a drug-free neighborhood, rather than an X-Box or Doll House, and again I apologize.
The other bad news I am afraid is that in a 10-15 years, when the two of you are ready to graduate college, you will be left with about $130,000 in student loan debt, each. If Maria and Steven can stay clean, they will be going to college for free, and therefore have a higher net take home after college than either of you, even if they only amount to working the drive-thru at McDonald's.
I was forced to get up very early this morning and drive to the inner city, where your gifts were redistributed to children whose parents are unemployed and perhaps strung out on drugs. Ethan, your X-Box was given to a boy name Steven, whom I am afraid will never appreciate it as much as you, as he was born addicted to heroine and only has half of a brain. Patricia, a young girl named Maria will be playing with your Hannah Montana Dollhouse, and I received word that she has already started making small batches of meth in the tiny kitchen.
You see, under our new socialist government system, everyone is equal. So even though mommy and daddy work 50 hours a week to provide for our family, we must give away that money to the families that do not work. Now it may not seem fair that they get toys and you do not, but that is how they have decided to spend the money we were made to give them. Your mother and I decided it would be better to give you a nice house in a drug-free neighborhood, rather than an X-Box or Doll House, and again I apologize.
The other bad news I am afraid is that in a 10-15 years, when the two of you are ready to graduate college, you will be left with about $130,000 in student loan debt, each. If Maria and Steven can stay clean, they will be going to college for free, and therefore have a higher net take home after college than either of you, even if they only amount to working the drive-thru at McDonald's.
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